Remember Me As A Time Of Day

Decide What To Be and Go Be It

2011-09-07T07:00:00.000-06:00

73. If you could tell the world just one thing, what would you say?

Shorty

2011-09-06T09:00:00.000-06:00

There are certain days where I curse my short stature. Coming in at a whopping 5' 3" has its moments of utter frustration, especially when you have to hop around for five minutes trying to reach something on a high shelf because you're too stubborn to go get a step stool, or heaven forbid, ask a tall freak of nature to get it for you. Yes, there are moments where I am completely convinced that if I were even a mere two inches taller, my life would be a zillion times better. Lucky for me, today is not one of those days. You see folks, being short has tremendous perks.

For starters, let's discuss heels. I have a number of friends who are in that 5' 8" - 5' 10" range who refuse to wear heels out and about because they absolutely hate towering over guys. However, here comes little ol' me dawning my 5" heels, and I'm still shorter than the vast majority of guys. It's kinda awesome. If you're going to call me a midget on a daily basis, I'm going to at least rub in the fact that I can wear heels and you can't.

Since we've now brought up guys, let's continue at that topic. Now i'm sure if you're a rather tall female you've already gotten used to being taller than many guys. And i'm sure that there are many guys that are strong enough with their manhood to not care if a girl is taller than them. But most guys that I've talked to absolutely hate when girls are taller than them. This is where perk #2 comes in of being a shorty. It is almost impossible to find a guy the same height or shorter than you. You're options of guys you would look good next to are greatly increased when you're short. I mean, let's look at various Hollywood actors who are short in stature:

James McAvoy - 5' 7"

Zac Efron - 5' 8"

Tom Cruise - 5' 7"

That's right ladies, I could easily saunter around Los Angeles in my 5" heels with Zac Efron and no one would bat an eyelash.

Now, I know my first two perks are guy centered, but those aren't the only perks. Let's discuss not feeling cramped in compact cars, not getting smacked in the face by low hanging tree branches, or being able to sneak away in a large crowd (can you imagine Shaq trying to make a quick getaway? I didn't think so). So all my shorties in the world, raise your heads high and embrace your shortness cause guess what...short is awesome!

Monday Soap Box

2011-09-05T15:30:00.000-06:00

I tend to think of myself as a rather passive person who brushes most stuff off, but sometimes things just irk me to the point where I need to vent. There are two topics today that I wish to touch upon

1) Medians

Whoever decided that medians were a good idea was a sick and twisted soul. Yes, I have been well versed in their purposes, which in theory make sense, but when all I want is Taco Bell and there is a median in my way, I plea to the heavens to smite whoever thought it was a good idea to make me drive two minutes out of my way to flip a u-ey, just so I can chow down on a 7-layer burrito.

2) Self Righteous People

The other day I received a note from a neighbor of mine who I have known practically my whole life. She is probably the sweetest lady ever and I still love her, but she wrote me a note the other day basically saying I was screwing up my life because I have chosen a different lifestyle than she would like to see me having. Yes, I understand that her heart was in the right place, but it really is none of her business what I do with my life. I'm respectful of her lifestyle, and in return, she needs to be respectful of mine.

That wraps up today's vent session. I really do try to keep things positive on here, but sometimes I just need to let my frustrations out. If you were offended by today's post at all (especially if you happen to be a median...or my neighbor) come back tomorrow for a post about Unicorns, rainbows, and sparkly things.

P.S. One more thing...

Party it UP!

30 Days

2011-09-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday while perusing TED.com, I came across this talk by Matt Cutts about doing various 30 day challenges. Matt emphasized that they don't have to be anything large by any means, and probably shouldn't involve eating McDonald's for 30 days (bless you Morgan Spurlock), but just challenging yourself every once in awhile can have outstanding effects and cause you to try things you may not have normally done.

This idea got me really excited, and while I'd love to say I'll be doing a challenge a month from now until I die, I know that's not realistic for me so we'll just see how this month goes. I'm well aware that the challenge I chose is rather cliche, since I've seen numerous blogs based off of this idea, but I decided to start with something easy, so for the month of September, I will be taking a picture a day. I chose this for various reasons, but mostly because a) it's easy, and b) I'd love to learn more about photography. Yes, I understand that just snapping pics with your phone does not a photographer make, but I figure I have to start somewhere, so why not here?

Thanks to the plethora of iPhone photo apps, hopefully my simple little photos will appear a billion times cooler than they really are. For instance, here is today's photo:

This is one of two paper lanterns that hang in my bedroom. This one is made up of lyrics from a few of my favorite songs as well as a poem I wrote during a rather difficult period in my life. Yes, I do realize you probably didn't really care to know the story behind this pic, but I like if I write down why the things I photograph are important to me that somehow I will become more mindful and perhaps a better photographer.

I'm really excited for this challenge and hopefully along the way we'll all learn something...and hopefully that something isn't that I suck at photography. Until tomorrow...

Double Vision

2011-08-11T11:55:00.001-06:00

Dear friends,

How are you? Hope all is well on this splendid day of August the 11th. This is a rather silly post, but I was kind of intrigued by the pictures coming out of Ryan Goslings photo shoot for the September issue of Esquire Magazine. In case you haven't seen these little gems, here's a peak:

While I'm all for the typical photo shoot that deeply focuses on sex appeal, I'm really digging this more psychological look into Ryan. Gosling told Esquire,

“I think I was always bound to become two selves, if I wasn’t already. Now there’s this me, this public me, and I know that I have become two people. This is what I told the photographer before he took those photographs. Even my own name sounds like just someone I know."

I really like how they featured Ryan's fascination with skeletons, or maybe obsession is a better word. The man has a band called Dead Man's Bones for crying out loud. Anyway, from what I've seen so far, I'm pretty excited to take a look at the entire article once it comes out on the 16th. Until then, here is one last quote from Ryan explaining what being famous feels like to him.

“It’s like being in a dream. You don’t know anybody, but everybody knows you, everybody reacts to you. You can be walking along in a dream, through a pretty normal world, and then bam, everything seems to be a response to your presence. Everything seems to be driven by you. And that’s notable at first, and you deal with it. And then — and it happens every time — you become aware it’s a dream. Right about then, when you think you have it figured, and that acknowledging that will make it easier, it inevitably becomes a nightmare.”

Salty Goodness

2011-07-18T10:00:00.000-06:00

8. When was your last food craving, and what did you crave?

I know a lot of people often get cravings for sweets, but 9 times out of 10, whenever I get a craving, it's for something salty. My most recent craving was for chips and salsa. I kid you not, the entire day I was at work, I could not stop counting down the hours until I could indulge in that salty goodness. The second most current craving I've experienced was for olives and pickles. Yeah, kinda weird but what can I say, I'm a unique soul.

Living La Vida Loca

2011-07-15T10:00:00.000-06:00

33. Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home.

I wish I had a more exciting tale to tell, but unfortunately the longest I've ever been away from home was 3 weeks. The summer I graduated high school, I went on a 3 week road trip with a local church group. I know that doesn't sound very exciting, and parts of it definitely weren't, but it actually was a lot of fun. There were about 100 of us and we had all just graduated so we were all enjoying being able to embrace our new found freedom.

The trip was mostly visiting church history sites across the U.S. (most of which are back east) but we did do some fun stuff like seeing the Lion King on Broadway and spending a day on our own in D.C. to check out all the monuments and museums (the Holocaust Museum was by far my favorite). Yes, there was also plenty of drama which is bound to happen when you put a bunch of (barely graduated) high school students together, but it really was a wonderful experience that I wouldn't trade for anything.

It's Getting Real In The Whole Foods Parking Lot!

2011-07-14T10:00:00.002-06:00

70. What food items do you consider staples in a well-balanced diet?

This is kind of a funny question for me to answer seeing as I in no way eat a balanced diet, but I shall do my best.

For starters, eat your fruits and vegetables. They have tons of vitamins and nutrients and a whole bunch of other good stuff. I know a lot of people don't particularly care for fruits and veggies, but just try some out and you may be surprised that there are some out there you actually like.

Grains are also important in a balanced diet. One grain I actually really like is Quinoa. It doesn't really have a lot of flavor to it, but it's really good when mixed in salads and such. It's also super good for you. It contains a balanced set of essential amino acids which makes it a complete protein. It's basically what most people would call a super food.

Other than that, I don't have much to say. Drink lots of water I guess? Actually, just shop at Whole Foods. Basically everything in that store is good for you.

Dirty Filthy Mind

2011-07-13T10:00:00.000-06:00

46.What comes to mind when someone uses the phrase prolonging the magic?

No I did not make this questions up. You don't trust me? Go look at #46 on the list and tell me what it says. Oh, it says exactly what I posted above? Well look at that! Don't you feel dumb now?

Maybe I'm the one who should feel dumb because perhaps none of you understand why this question weirds me out a little bit. I know this may be scary for some of you, but I want you to take a moment and step inside the mind of a 23 year old who has a rather dirty mind and look at the question again. See what I'm talking about? If you're still not getting it, just click here. That should clear a few things up. Have a happy Wednesday :)

I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

2011-07-12T10:00:00.007-06:00

11. Turn to an entry in your journal or diary from a year or more ago. What has changed and what has stayed the same since then?

I'm sorry to say that I'm not known for being consistent with my journal writing. I usually just write when something important happens or something pops into my head that I feel I need to get out. When looking at some of the things I wrote a year ago, it doesn't seem like much has changed. However, when I really think about it, a lot has changed. This summer I received my Bachelors degree, and I just gave my two weeks notice to the company I have been employed with for the last six years and will soon be starting a great job working at a physical therapy clinic. I finally feel like I have a good handle on my anxiety issues, and my relationship with my mom is better than it's ever been. The one difference that I really want to point out though, is my acceptance with myself. I'm really going to sound like a broken record when I say that I've been dealing with body issues over the last few years, but sometimes I don't think people really don't understand just how damaging this self loathing can be.

I really want to stay positive in this post so I'm definitely going to edit my journey to self acceptance, but let's just say that my issues with my body are probably my biggest anxiety trigger. I used to really be disgusted by my appearance and one of my journal entries from a year ago details one of my anxiety attacks because of my body issues. It boggles my mind looking back at that moment how I let myself get to that place. I remember feeling all the things I wrote about, but I honestly can't tell you why I felt them.

I think what really helped me on my path to loving myself was a text from a friend that I received out of the blue telling me why he thought I was pretty. It took me completely by surprise and I don't think I had ever expressed my issues with this friend, but that text really helped change my perspective. It made me really think about all the good things about myself, It's an amazing thing when someone tells you you're pretty. You suddenly have so much more confidence. You walk a little taller and smile a little bigger and you just fell...good. It's even better when you actually feel like you're pretty. You feel unstoppable. For so long I didn't feel this way about myself. I was good at pretending I was confident with myself, but it just isn't the same as legitimately feeling beautiful.

The movie Penelope really comes to mind right now. If you haven't seen it, it's the story of a girl who is the victim of a family curse and is born with the nose of a pig. The only way to break this curse is to get a blue blood to marry her. Her mother, fearing what others will say, keeps her locked up inside the house and fakes her death. Of course, when Penelope is old enough, her mother hires a match making agency to help find someone who will marry Penelope. Not trying to give too much away, after being rejected so many times, Penelope runs away and decides to live her life no matter what others say about her. During her journey, she realizes that there is nothing wrong with her and discovers she likes herself just the way she is.

I know that society likes to send mixed messages and will tell you one minute to love yourself the way you are and then the next minute that the way you are isn't good enough, but remember that people come in all different shapes and sizes and don't let anyone tell you there is something wrong with you if you don't fit their mold of beauty. We all have different ideas of what is beautiful and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but by accepting and loving yourself the way you are right now, I think everyone can agree that that is beautiful thing.

I Feel Pretty / Unpretty - Glee Cast Version

I Don't Rap About Bitches and Hos, I Rap About Witches and Trolls

2011-07-11T08:00:00.001-06:00

Continuing on with our list I decided that instead of going in order, I would use random.org's random number generator to mix things up a bit. So without further adieu:

78. What is the name of your favorite book, magazine, or publication?

I'm a dork. I admit it. I'm a Star Trek loving, Elvish talking dork! OK, actually I need to take that last part back. While I really did try to learn Elvish once upon a time, I shamefully must admit that I crashed and burned after only three days. Anyway, I love most of that fantasy and sci-fi crap and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you had asked me what my three favorite shows were when I was six, I would have said Barney, Wishbone, and Star Trek: Next Generation (and not necessarily in that particular order). So when I tell you that my favorite book is The Lord of the Rings, that really shouldn't come as too much of a shock now. Mind you that The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand is an extremely close second, but my love of hobbits and elves just trumps everything else.

At this point of my life, I've read the entire trilogy three times. The first time I read it was when I was 13 and every time after that, I always feel like I'm saying goodbye to a dear friend whenever I finish that last sentence. I'm probably due for a fourth go around, but no matter how much time passes or whatever other fantastic piece of literature I happen to stumble upon, I seem to always find my way back to Middle Earth and I find myself loving it more and more every time.

Denis Dutton: A Darwinian Theory of Beauty

2011-07-09T12:58:00.000-06:00

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

2011-07-06T13:25:00.001-06:00

Now that everyone is back to work after their nice long holiday weekend, It's time to get back to writing more posts based off of this list.

Numero dos on the list asks:

What 5 websites do you visit often, and why?

While I could easily give you a list of social media sites I frequent on a daily basis, I thought I might take this opportunity to share with you a couple of blogs I like to frequent.

1)Busy Bee Lauren

If you're name is Lauren, I will read your blog. No joke. Lauren is absolutely the cutest thing EVER. Whether she's professing her love to James McAvoy, Zac Efron, or Leonardo DiCaprio, or just posting some awesome pics she took around her hometown of Mesa, AZ, you will always leave her blog with a smile on your face (and a new desire to eat a raw foods diet).

2)The Rockstar Diaries

The Rockstar Diaries tells the tale of Naomi and Josh Davis, their cute little daughter Eleanor, and awesome bulldog Kingsley as they make a picturesque life for themselves in Washington D.C. In all honesty, I actually do "kind of " know Naomi (back when she still lived in Utah) and she really is the sweetest. Naomi is a graduate of Julliard and Josh graduated from Columbia. The two of them met in New York and have been the cutest little blog couple ever since.

3)The Cherry Blossom Girl

I really can never get enough of this blog. Alix is the creator of The Cherry Blossom Girl, and she is a fantastic fashion designer living in France. She is always posting beautiful photos from exotic locations she's been to (most recently Australia and Kenya) or just cute little photos of stuff found around her house. Whatever the subject, it's a spectacular visual feast.

4)The Swede Records

This cute little blog chronicles the life of Jenny May and Jonas (aka "The Swede) as they saunter around in good old SoCal. I'm not exactly sure why I like this blog so much, perhaps it's because Jonas is swedish and as you all should know, I have a great love for a certain special swede:

(Alexander Skarsgård)

Maybe it's the fact that Jenny May is a screenwriter and is currently peddling around her latest script for the next great Hollywood romance. Or maybe it's just cause the two of them are so darn cute together and I'm a sucker for true love. Whatever the reason, check out the Swede Records and let me know what ya think.

5)Cupcakes and Cashmere

In my humble little opinion, Emily Schuman is living my ideal life. She lives with her fiance and cats Luna and Rocco in beautiful Los Angeles, CA. She blogs mostly about food, fashion, beauty and design, and in all honesty, I can never get enough of her clever ideas. She always has beautiful photos along with all her posts that really make me want to move back to California.

So there you have it. What blogs do you like to look at on a daily basis?

I Pledge Elegance To The Flag...

2011-07-04T10:00:00.001-06:00

I hope everyone is having a great 4Th of July!

Awesomely Tragic

2011-07-01T18:18:00.005-06:00

One of the main reasons I do not update my blog very often is do the fact that I have absolutely no idea what to write. Occasionally I'll get some sort of inspiration for a post, but as you can see, that doesn't happen very often. Today as I was perusing the web, I came across this article that listed 80 different journal writing topics. Since I would consider a blog an online journal, I thought it might be a good idea to do a post once a day based off of each of the ideas listed. So for today's post, I will:

Name something that you lost or gave away that can never be replaced.

So I feel absolutely horrible for losing this specific item, and I feel like I need to provide you with a little background as to why I feel so horrible before I actually tell you what the item is. So once upon a time in California, my grandparents on my mothers side were married. They did not have much money, but my grandfather was able to provide my grandmother with an absolutely lovely diamond wedding ring (you can probably see where this is going). So this ring was quite lovely and had a large diamond in the center with four smaller diamonds surrounding it. Unfortunately my grandparents did not stay together and separated when my mom was 10, but my grandmother held onto that ring, and even when tragedy struck only two years later and my grandfather was killed in an accident, she still held onto it.

Well, when I was 16 and my sister was 20, she had the ring cut in half so that it created two separate rings with each ring containing two of the small diamonds (my grandma held onto the big diamond) and gave one to each of us. I've always been sad that I never knew my grandfather and so for years I've held onto that ring and actually used to wear it on a chain around my neck. Even when I stopped wearing it on a daily basis, I always made sure to keep it in a safe spot. However, through various moving processes, I've somehow happened to misplace this ring. I've looked in every place I can think of, but with no luck so far. I have this hope in the back of my mind that I'll come across is someday tucked in a box somewhere, but for now, I have no idea where it is, and I hate that I keep having to lie to my grandma when she asks about it.

(My Grandma on her wedding day)

( My Grandpa)

So now that I've told you my awesomely tragic story, anyone else have something they lost or gave away that they can't get back?

An Ode to Living

2011-06-24T16:03:00.000-06:00

Not exactly sure why this post is titled the way it is. It was just kinda the first thing that popped into my head, and it's a motto of mine that it's usually best to go with the first thing that pops into your head...unless of course the first thing that pops into your head is to go kill someone or commit some other serious crime. In that scenario, I would strongly urge you to NOT listen to your head, and instead go and see a therapist IMMEDIATELY because you may in fact be crazy.

Now that I've gone on my little tangent for the day and endorsed the mental health community, it's time for some serious business. Last night I took my very last final as a college student. It was both the happiest days of my life, and strangely one of the saddest. That school has practically been my home for the past five years (yes, I did say FIVE. I'm one of those people that slacked off for a year and thus spent five years completing a four year degree). I don't really know what I expected, but I thought there would be some grand feeling of closure as I drove away after taking my final last night, but in all honesty, I really didn't feel anything. I don't think I've really come to terms with the fact that I can never again use the excuse "I'm a student" to explain why I'm dirt poor. I can never use the excuse that I was up all night studying to explain why I'm late for work, and most heartbreaking of all, I can never again blow off a guy by telling him I have to study for a test. It's weird to think that I now have to be a functioning member of society. On the plus side however, it's liberating knowing that I can finally go back to reading books that I actually WANT to read instead of just reading textbooks. I can now go out at night and not feel horrible that I'm not studying for a test, or working on that 25 page case study on McDonald's (I think I have PTSD from that night). I've dreamed about this day for so long, and the fact that it is actually here is strangely frightening. It's scary because now I have to actually go and DO all these things that I've said I would do once I was finally done with college. I guess that's the way life is. You get over one hurdle just to find another one staring you in the face.

So yes, I think my mind did pick the perfect title for this post. One chapter of my life is coming to an end, and a whole new chapter is beginning. I guess life is really all about going with whatever the world throws at you and and getting back up when it knocks you down. Sometimes you get some pretty awesome stuff tossed your way, but more often then not, you encounter an Indiana Jones type of scenario where you have an enormous boulder headed straight towards you, and you don't know how you're going to make it out alive. But somehow, someway, someone or something always comes in at the very last second and saves the day. Yeah, maybe life has dealt you a really crappy hand, and you don't see a way out, but I'm going to share with you one of the best kept secrets out there. It's all going to be OK. So go ahead and crawl out of that lovely little whole you've dug for yourself, and just LIVE! As good old Andy in The Shawshank Redemption once said, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." So with that in mind, just go out and live your life the best way you can! Embrace change and stand up to fear! Don't let others say you can't, because you can and you will! You're a rock star baby!

P.S. Just so we're clear, you are not an ACTUAL rock star (unless however you are Bono, in which case I would have to say "Hey Bono, thanks for reading my blog!"). This blog does not endorse trashing hotel rooms, binge drinking, or drug addiction. This blog promotes rainbows and unicornes, as well as puppies and kittens on certain occasions. So yeah, don't do drugs...unless that drug is love, in that case, use responsibly. THE END!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2011-05-24T17:21:00.000-06:00

So if you know me, you know that my hair has gotten RIDICULOUSLY long (don't worry if you don't know me, I have visuals coming). Anyway, I finally got sick of all of it and cut it off! No joke! This is a pic of me
yesterday afternoon before my haircut:

Sorry my hair is kinda funky looking. I had it up in a bun thingy, but I thought you should all have a visual of just how long it is. Oh, and it's even longer when I straighten it so it literally goes halfway down my back.

So this is the pic I went in with:

And this is the end result:

14 INCHES!!! That is how much was cut off in one fell swoop. Of course I am an awesome human being and donated that mass of hair to Locks of Love so I feel I've done my good deed for the week.

Anyway, I absolutely love it and love that my head feels so much lighter :)

Crazy Randomness

2011-05-03T10:00:00.002-06:00

So I realized the other day that I have a bunch of random pics on my phone. Because I'm kind of random, I've decided to post some of these gems that either remind me of good times or are just some photos that make me giggle. Hope you enjoy :)

1) One of my good friends from work loves playing around on photoshop. Back in January on a particularly slow day, she sent me this lovely little gem.

2) This picture was actually taken this past Wednesday at the Real Salt Lake vs. Monterrey. Sadly, Real lost, but there was a great energy in the stadium and it was a really fun game to watch.

3)This pic was taken just last Tuesday as I was trying to finish up some final papers. Apparently my dog could sense my stress and wouldn't leave me alone until I played with her.

4)Not really anything exciting, but the light in my room was just really nice so I thought I'd snap a pic.

5) This pic was taken last year as I was driving home from Oceaside, CA after visiting my BFF. There was a huge accident which caused the freeway to be shut down for awhile, so I took a little detour and found this gem just outside Barstow, CA along Route 666.

6) This one is kind of self explanatory. I'm so grateful that I live in Utah which allows me to go to the Sundance Film Festival every year. This was the first of two Sundance films that I saw this year, and sadly, it kind of sucked, but if you ever get a chance to see the Morgan Spurlock film, "The Greatest Movie Ever Sold" which comes out this month, I highly recommend you go see it.

7) My sister and I are kind of horrible children and ditched out on my dad last Father's Day to go see Cage The Elephant. It was actually really nice because the concert was on Sunday, and since this is Utah, hardly anyone was there.

Five Things

2011-05-02T10:00:00.000-06:00

Here's a list of five things that are making my life just a wee bit better...

1) Philosophy Apricots & Cream body lotion
~I had wanted this lotion since last year, but for some reason never got around to purchasing my own bottle until just recently. The scent is so scrumptious that I have seriously contemplated trying to eat it, but luckily my better judgement has won out. Anyway, it smells heavenly and makes your skin oh so soft.

2)Starbucks Green Tea Lemonade
~The weather has finally just gotten warm enough wear I don't feel ridiculous ordering iced drinks, so I'm trading in my Chai Latte for this favorite warm weather beverage. Words really can't describe its delectableness, so I'll just recommend you go try it out and you can thank me later.

3)Yogurtland Frozen Yogurt
~The picture speaks for itself. So good :)

4)Tulips

~Every year the place that I work for has an enormous Tulip Festival in their 55 acre gardens in which they plant about 250,000 tulips. Sadly it's been pretty cold so far this spring, so the tulips bloomed kind of late, but they are finally here and looking just lovely.

5)GRADUATION!!!

~That's right folks, I'm an official college graduate! Well, kind of. I still have to take three classes over the summer before they'll send me the diploma, but on Friday I did all the official graduation stuff and I gotta admit, it's a really nice feeling. It'll feel even better when I'm OFFICIALLY done with classes, but for right now, I'm just feeling very content knowing that I'm so close.

(That's me on the far left with my two friends Amber & Kristyn)

Book List - Summer 2011

2011-05-01T10:00:00.002-06:00

Normally summer is a good time for me to catch up on all the books I've been meaning to read but haven't had the time to, but this year I decided I should probably dedicate the summer to actually FINISHING books that I've started, but never finished. I'm sure there are more books that fit this criteria than are pictured below, but these are the only ones I could actually think of/find. Hopefully it won't take me the entire summer to finish these, so if you have any good book suggestions, let me know, but for the meantime, these should keep me busy for awhile.

Top 25

2011-04-30T23:57:00.003-06:00

It's been awhile since I shared a playlist, so I thought I'd post my top 25 most played songs according to my iTunes. As usual, Playlist.com did not have all the songs on my playlist, so I've added YouTube videos of all the others songs. Enjoy :)

It's DONE!!!

2011-04-30T16:38:00.002-06:00

So I say this with total love in my heart for all my amazing professors, but this semester has literally been the semester from hell! Maybe it's the fact that it was basically my last semester and I am so anxious to be done, but all my classes this semester felt so demanding and I am seriously impressed I only had one emotional break down the whole semester. Anyway, IT'S DONE! I turned in all my final assignments on Wednesday and I'm now free and clear until summer semester starts.

So back in the day when I had just finished my last final of my second semester of college, I decided I would reward myself with a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino from Starbucks, and every semester since then, I've rewarded myself with that same delicious treat. Well, since it's been 4 years from when I started that tradition, my taste buds have seemed to change a bit (example: I no longer like chocolate. I know...weird) and I actually gagged a bit when I started drinking my frappuccino at the end of last semester. Anyway, I decided I would still stick with getting a frappuccino, but this time I switched it up and ordered a Caramel Frappuccino. Can I just tell you how great of a decision that turned out to be? It was like heaven to my to my taste buds. It's kind of sad to think that I will only be able to fulfill this tradition one more time, but It's been an amazing journey and I'd like to send out a special thanks to Starbucks for being there with me the entire way.

P.S. Yes, I do realize I just wrote an entire post about a beverage and instead of thanking my family for supporting me, I thanked Starbucks, but this is my blog so deal with it. The End.

What The Week Holds...

2011-04-25T19:04:00.002-06:00

In 48 hrs. I will be eating this:

(Noodles & Company - Penne Rosa)

and getting ready to go see this:

but before I can do either of those, I have to get through two of these:

and yell at myself for doing this:

all while trying not to look like this:

But on Friday it will all be worth it because I'll look like this:

and be watching this:

But until then...

does anyone want to bring me some of this?

Perfectly Imperfect

2011-03-25T20:05:00.000-06:00

Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ‘em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.

-Stephen Manes

Update: 22 Before 23 List

2011-03-15T15:04:00.002-06:00

Alright, so I really slacked off on updating on this list and I apologize for that. Sadly to say, the list hasn't been going super well. As you can see, I did end up completing some of the listed items, but the ones that I haven't yet completed are probably not going to happen.

I was really good at not drinking pop for probably 3 months, but one day I needed a caffeine boost and I just couldn't resist a good old Dr. Pepper. I have limited my intake quite a bit however, and only drink it when I don't really have any other options.

Staying off Facebook was also a bit of a bust. I ended up having to reactivate my account for a class believe it or not. However, I do try to stay off of it as much as possible and really spend no more than 5 minutes on it per day so I think that's pretty good.

I think I maybe have lost 5 lbs, but in all honesty, I haven't even really made an effort to lose weight. This semester has been a beast and I just really haven't had time to hit the gym.

I'm probably 200 pages into Atlas shrugged and am making baby steps, but as stated above, I just really haven't had the time.

I still may be able to learn to change a tire, go golfing, learn to play chess, watch "Gone with the Wind", and go to all the restaurants features on "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives", so we'll put a question mark next to those.

I sadly won't be able to get my Mac Book Pro either. The tax return money I had planned on using for it ended up going to paying off credit cards and purchasing some other important items.

So as you can see, I have made some progress, but have come up a bit short. I do plan on making a "23 Before 24" list so maybe if I have a whole year instead of just 6 months I'll get more accomplished, but sometimes life just doesn't work out quite how we want it to and you just have to learn to roll with it. Hope you all are having a great day and remember:

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

-John Lennon

Random Side Note: I watched the movie Nowhere Boy the other night which tells the story of John Lennon's adolescence, and it is absolutely FANTASTIC!!! Even if you're not a Lennon fan, it's such a well made film and Aaron Johnson who plays John is brilliant. Please, PLEASE go watch it :)

Heavy

2011-03-14T16:18:00.001-06:00

Jonathan Safran Foer wrote,"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living" This is exactly how I feel ALL THE TIME!!! I wonder how many different lives I might have had under different circumstances. I'm completely blessed with the life I do have, but sometimes I wonder if this life of mine truly makes me happy. I'm a creative soul. I always have been. I LOVE music. Music is like oxygen to me. I couldn't survive without it. I love art, drama, poetry, literature, dance, you name it. Some days I seriously pause for a moment and ask myself why if I'm such a creative person, did I major in Public Relations? I remember the logic behind my decision when I started college, but now that I'm about to get my degree in it, I'm seriously second guessing that choice. I do have a plan as to how I want to use this degree, and If I succeed, It will be amazing, but sometimes I just really feel like I want to go on a different path. However, I don't want to feel like I just wasted the last five years of my life. I'm also a worried that I'll disappoint all those who've been so supportive of my current path. A quote from the book Atlas Shrugged keeps coming to mind where the character John Galt makes the statement, "I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine." I know I shouldn't let others opinions of me have such an influence in my life, but it's really hard not to take them into account. I'm just so confused right now.

Shake The Dust by Anis Mojgani

2011-02-17T11:56:00.001-07:00

This is for the fat girls.

This is for the little brothers.

This is for the school-yard wimps, this is for the childhood bullies who tormented them.

This is for the former prom queen, this is for the milk-crate ball players.

This is for the nighttime cereal eaters and for the retired, elderly Wal-Mart store front door greeters. Shake the dust.

This is for the benches and the people sitting upon them,

for the bus drivers driving a million broken hymns,

for the men who have to hold down three jobs simply to hold up their children,

for the nighttime schoolers and the midnight bike riders who are trying to fly. Shake the dust.

This is for the two-year-olds who cannot be understood because they speak half-English and half-god. Shake the dust.

For the girls with the brothers who are going crazy,

for those gym class wall flowers and the twelve-year-olds afraid of taking public showers,

for the kid who's always late to class because he forgets the combination to his lockers,

for the girl who loves somebody else. Shake the dust.

This is for the hard men, the hard men who want to love but know that it won't come.

For the ones who are forgotten, the ones the amendments do not stand up for.

For the ones who are told to speak only when you are spoken to and then are never spoken to. Speak every time you stand so you do not forget yourself.

Do not let a moment go by that doesn't remind you that your heart beats 900 times a day and that there are enough gallons of blood to make you an ocean.

Do not settle for letting these waves settle and the dust to collect in your veins.

This is for the celibate pedophile who keeps on struggling,

for the poetry teachers and for the people who go on vacations alone.

For the sweat that drips off of Mick Jaggers' singing lips and for the shaking skirt on Tina Turner's shaking hips, for the heavens and for the hells through which Tina has lived.

This is for the tired and for the dreamers and for those families who'll never be like the Cleavers with perfectly made dinners and sons like Wally and the Beaver.

This is for the biggots,

this is for the sexists,

this is for the killers.

This is for the big house, pen-sentenced cats becoming redeemers and for the springtime that always shows up after the winters.

This? This is for you.

Make sure that by the time fisherman returns you are gone.

Because just like the days, I burn both ends and every time I write, every time I open my eyes I am cutting out a part of myself to give to you.

So shake the dust and take me with you when you do for none of this has never been for me.

All that pushes and pulls, pushes and pulls for you.

So grab this world by its clothespins and shake it out again and again and jump on top and take it for a spin and when you hop off shake it again for this is yours.

Make my words worth it, make this not just another poem that I write, not just another poem like just another night that sits heavy above us all.

Walk into it, breathe it in, let is crash through the halls of your arms at the millions of years of millions of poets coursing like blood pumping and pushing making you live, shaking the dust.

So when the world knocks at your front door, clutch the knob and open on up, running forward into its widespread greeting arms with your hands before you, fingertips trembling though they may be.

Happy Valentines!!!

2011-02-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

I absolutely LOVE Valentine's Day! I've never been in a relationship or anything on Valentine's, but I think it's such a great day because it really makes you think about all the great people you have in your life and it's a great day to show those people just how much you care. It's also a great day to think about the things you love about yourself. While my V-Day will mostly be filled with schoolwork, I've already set a date with myself for later this evening to enjoy a delicious dinner and watch some ooey gooey chick flicks. So remember, even if you don't have a certain special someone, don't forget to spread the love :)

SOTD Playlist - 2/7 - 2/13

2011-02-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

Give Me Strength

2011-02-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

For some reason it seems to be a common occurrence whenever I'm putting together the Song of the Day playlist that 1) There is at least one day where I forget to post a SOTD & 2) When putting together the play list, there is at least one song that I can't find so I have to post a YouTube video instead. Well, to keep things consistent, that is the case again this week. I decided to add Sukie In The Graveyard by Belle & Sebastian to the playlist for this week because....it's a freaking AWESOME song. I will try harder next week to post a song everyday, but I think I've put together a nice little playlist for this week, so without further adieu, here is this weeks Song of the Day playlist.

You Know You Want One...

2011-02-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

So I'm a little behind on this, but have you checked out the giveaway Busy Bee Lauren is putting on right now? As part of her birthday week, she's giving away a white Diana camera. While I don't currently own a Diana (hoping that will change in the near future) I do own an Holga camera and I absolutely love it. All you have to do to enter the giveaway is go to Lauren's blog and leave a comment stating who your favorite book boyfriend is. I put Howard Roark (from The Fountainhead) as mine because seriously, the guy could design a pretty sweet kick ass house for us to live in. Anyway, that's all you really need to know. Have a great day

Looking For Alaska

2011-01-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present."

John Green

It's Playlist Time!!!

2011-01-31T10:41:00.001-07:00

As stated last week, I will be doing a playlist every Monday of the past weeks Songs of the Day via my twitter feed. If you haven't noticed, there was no song of the day on Sunday, so I just threw in a favorite song of mine at the moment, so there ya go. Enjoy!

P.S. I couldn't get Weight Of It All by Matt Nathanson to work so here is a YouTube video of him performing it live.

Dueling Cellists

2011-01-28T02:00:00.001-07:00

A good friend of mine posted this on my Facebook wall yesterday, and I seriously can't stop watching it! The parts where they aren't showing the cellists actually playing the cello are kinda corney, but who really cares? Hope you enjoy :)

A Man Without A Country

2011-01-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

"The arts are not a way of making a living. they are a very human way of making life more bearable. practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. sing in the shower. dance to the radio. tell stories. write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. do it as well as you possibly can. you will get an enormous reward. you will have created something."
— Kurt Vonnegut

Sorry...

2011-01-25T02:00:00.001-07:00

I know this is kind of random, but I want to throw out a sincere apology if you knew me between February 2004 and October 2009. If I ever write an autobiography, I will consider that period of time as my "lost years." I apologize because between being a stereotypical angry teenager, severe depression, and being on meds for said depression, I was basically just a raging bitch during that period of time. How I was able to keep friends and even make new ones during that period, I will never know, but to those friends that did stick with me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Being in the place that I am in now and looking back at that period of time, I can't believe how I became the person that I did. I don't know how so much anger and hurt was able to fit into my little body. It's almost comical to me the feelings that I used to feel. I used to think that no one could possibly understand me or my pain, and in all honesty, I don't think I really wanted anyone to understand. I think I wanted to feel...special? I don't know if that's the right word, but it's the only word that comes to mind. I got some sort of strange relief every time someone said they couldn't understand what I was going through, and got really angry when someone said they did. I also had this compulsive desire to be perfect, and the more I saw my imperfections, the more angry I got. I think that's why I got so closed off from a lot of people and kept to myself. If I didn't have anyone around to compare myself to, I could finally find some sort of momentary peace with myself. I think I had a very naive view of a lot of people during that time. I guess an idealized view would be more accurate. I only saw in people what I was lacking and this made everyone around me seem perfect and me feel like the biggest loser to ever walk the planet. Once it got to the point that I could no longer somewhat control my depression, I turned to anti-depressants to calm my troubled soul. In all honesty, they actually worked really well for awhile. I soon realized though that by suppressing all the bad feelings, I was suppressing the good as well. During that period of time when I was on anti-depressants, I did a lot of things that I don't necessarily regret, because I learned a lot from those experiences, but I'll just say that I have a lot of moments that I don't look back on proudly. It wasn't until October of 2009, when I realized that I hadn't cried in over a year and a half, that I finally decided to get off the anti-depressants. Having to deal with the withdrawal over the next couple of weeks was absolutely horrible, but when it was over and I was finally able to feel again, it was amazing.

I still have good days and bad days, but I'd have to say that 90% of the time, i'm feeling pretty damn good. Once I stopped playing the victim and decided that I could change my situation, that's when things got better. It truly is a daily battle, and I'm in no way saying that I've got it all figured out, but I feel I gained some wisdom during those "lost years", and just really want to thank all those that stuck by me and tried to help me along the way. None of you will ever truly understand what you did for me, but in all honesty, I don't think I would still be alive if it wasn't for the love and support I received during that period of time.

Song Of The Day

2011-01-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

As you can probably guess, I'm a hardcore music lover. I think my dream job would be selecting music to be featured on television shows or movie soundtracks. Anyway, I assume you've noticed my twitter feed on the left of the page, and you've noticed I always post a Song of the Day (SOTD). Well, being cool and all, I've decided that every monday, I will revue my twitter feed and compile all the "songs of the day" from the previous week and make one awesome playlist. I know there is already a playlist underneath this post, but come on, do you really want to hear about boring stuff like work and school? I didn't think so. While I will try to be better at posting more substantial content, here is this weeks Song of the Day playlist.

Creature Fear

2011-01-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a nice little post-holiday playlist. Enjoy :)

WTF!!!

2011-01-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

It seriously makes me sick that this guy had to spend 30 years in prison for a crime he didn't even commit. Stupid eye witnesses. Something seriously needs to be done with our justice system.
P.S. Kudos to the D.A. Sounds like he had a good PR person who prepped him well.

Winter Wonders

2011-01-05T02:00:00.001-07:00

I know this is nothing exciting, but I just wanted to share some of my favorite things that I've come across lately that make my life just a tiny bit more awesome.

L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream

This stuff is absolutely amazing for the cold dry winters of Utah. It's very rich and creamy but not at all greasy. Makes your hands unbelievably soft. It also has a really light nice clean scent to it if you don't want something too strong.

Laura Mercier Creme de Pistache Hand Creme

This is also very moisturizing but is a little bit lighter than the Shea Butter hand cream. It also smells absolutely delicious!

Power-C Vitamin Water

If I could survive entirely on this drink, I totally would. I've tried several other Vitamin Water flavors and this is by far my favorite. It has a nice sweet flavor to it, plus it's packed with vitamin c to help boost your immune system during cold & flu season.

Nivea A Kiss of Moisture Essential Lip Care

Absolutely fantastic! Makes your lips feel super soft.

Clif Bars

I eat probably two of these a day and they really help curb my hunger when I can't sit down to an actual meal. I'm kind of a freak and don't really like milk or dark chocolate so that's why I have the white chocolate macadamia nut pictured, but I've actually tried the chocolate chip one and it's not bad. The only flavor that I'm not a fan of is the carrot cake, but besides that they're all really good. Also, a couple of them have green tea in them so they help give you an added energy boost.

Chloe Eau de Toilette

Basically just your perfect scent. Isn't too heavy and lasts all day.

And just as an added bonus since I'm obsessed, here's a pic of Garrett Hedlund because who are we kidding? He makes everyone's life just a little bit more awesome ;)

Days Go By

2011-01-04T23:53:00.003-07:00

My first class of the spring semester starts in a little under 10 hours and I'm already feeling the pressure. This is my second to last semester of college and I'm already experiencing the daunting feeling of post grad life. Chronologically I'm 22, but I still feel like I'm 16 and nowhere near ready to face the real world. At the same time, I'm definitely excited for what's to come. I don't know why, but 2011 is giving me a really good vibe. Looking back, I'd have to say 2008 has been my best year. It involved my highest highs and my lowest lows. However, this year feels like it may top it. I'll be finishing college and hopefully moving to either L.A. or Boston. Who knows, maybe New York is finally ready for me. Or maybe I'll just stay in my cozy little neck of the woods. The fact that I have all these options however is an amazing feeling. Maybe this is the year that I finally find the great love of my life. Maybe this is the year that I finally lose all the weight I've been meaning to lose. Maybe this is the year that I fail miserably only to build myself back up to an even greater place than I was before. Who knows? I don't know what's in store for me and it's terrifying and exciting all at the same time. However, my goal this year is to quit planning and just live. To state what may be the most over quoted saying out there, "life's what happens when you're busy making other plans." I'm just going to live and see what happens. I need to let go and know that the stars have something greater planned for me than I could ever possibly plan for myself. Here's to living, loving, laughing and occasionally fucking up.

2011-01-04T14:00:00.004-07:00

‘But,’ you say, ‘I have no time!’ Nonsense, there is always time. To be precise, there are 86,400 seconds in every day, each second waiting to be used, wanting to be lived. Perhaps because we can’t see or touch time, we don’t understand the gift that is ours - that if we don’t use our daily allotment as best we can we end up, once again, with the ache. We all have enough time; we simply misuse it.

— Joan Anderson

*Truer words have never been uttered. I'll have to make sure to remember this for the upcoming semester.

Once More With Feeling

2011-01-04T02:00:00.001-07:00

Haven't posted a playlist in awhile so I thought this should be a nice mellow one before school starts back up tomorrow and my life is thrown once more into chaos. Have a wonderful Tuesday!

Currently Crushing On...

2011-01-03T12:47:00.011-07:00

GARRETT HEDLUND!!!!
Have you taken a look at this fine specimen of total hotness?

So this weekend I had a little movie marathon and basically watched EVERY movie he's ever been in (except Eragon & the hideous Lindsay Lohan movie Georgia Rule. I still have standards people.) Yes, I'm officially obsessed at the moment and I'm not even going to try and deny it.

I'm going to step back a little bit and show you the development of this little one sided love affair. So I had seen him in the trailers for Tron: Legacy and after Busy Bee Lauren made him her new fake boyfriend, my interest was definitely piqued. However, once I finally saw Tron on Friday afternoon, it was true love.

So after seeing Tron, I continued my evening by re-watching Troy. Oh, you didn't know he was in Troy? Yeah, he just happens to play Brad Pitt's (aka Achilles) super hot cousin Patroclus

Ok, so I'm not really digging the long hair either, but come on, look at the face, it's pretty freaking adorable.

Anyway, the next film on my list was Friday Night Lights where he played Don Billingsley. I had seen bits and pieces of the film before, but I had never watched it all the way through. Can I just stop for a moment and say how much I loved that movie?! Even if Garrett wasn't in it, I think I still would have loved it, but the addition of his hotness made it that much more wonderful

While those two movies finished up my Friday evening, I continued my Garrettfest Saturday evening by watching Four Brothers. I'm just gonna state for the record that Four Brothers is definitely my favorite movie that he's been in. He's so dorky but in such a bad ass way, I seriously can't get over it.

(This is a deleted scene from the movie, but I liked it so I'm adding it. Also, click here for another freaking awesome deleted scene with Garrett.)

So as I stated earlier, I skipped Eragon & Georgia Rule because I've decided that I'm not a complete masochist. I'm sorry if I offend anyone who thinks Eragon is the greatest movie ever made, and maybe i'll watch it one of these days, but if I have to watch him make-out with Loco Lohan, I may vomit.

(Eragon)

(Georgia Rule)

Sadly Garrettfest concluded with watching him play the bad guy in Death Sentence. This probably wasn't the best movie to watch right before going to bed, but Garrett was wonderful in it (and strangely attractive with his bald head and mass amount of tats) so the lack of sleep was worth it.

Luckily, he has a new movie coming out this weekend called Country Strong where he plays an up and coming country singer/songwriter. He stars in the movie along with Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, & Leighton Meester. I'm sorry to say that I really hate country music, but listening to Garrett sing kinda makes me melt so I'll most likely end up seeing the film.

So there you have it. You are now all well versed in all that is Garrett Hedlund. And since I am such a kind and compassionate soul, I'll leave you with a few more wonderful images.

(You really need to only watch from 1:31 on but I liked listening to the other cast members so it's up to you)
P.S. When he goes "sorry Leighton," I got a little weak in the knees.

22 Before 23: Update

2010-12-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been awhile since I last posted. Between finals, Christmas, and a wonderfully relaxing trip to California, I just haven't had much time. Anyway, I've been kinda slacking on updating my progress on my 22 before 23 list.

So far I'm doing really well. I thought I would be eating a lot more fast food while I was on vacation, but I only ate it once so I'm really proud of myself. I've been trying to be really good about not drinking soda, but sometimes it's hard when there aren't many other options. However, I've only had it twice since I started last month so I think I'm doing pretty well. As far as Facebook goes, I've been exceptionally good. I've only logged on once and about after 15 minutes I couldn't stand being on it anymore. I really don't understand how that stupid little website once had such a hold on me.

Luckily, I did manage to accomplish two things on my list. I finally tried a Sprinkles cupcake and I have to admit, they are absolutely delicious. If you ever get the chance to sample their cupcakes, get the red velvet, it's heavenly.

I also got my picture in front of the Hollywood sign. Let me tell you, that was not as easy as it may seem. It is a freakishly scary drive up there through narrow winding streets, but I have to admit that it's a gorgeous view.

I had also planned on going ice skating over at the Santa Monica Pier, but due to unforeseen circumstances, that didn't work out. So, I'll have to think of something else to put on my list since there isn't much chance that I'll be getting back to California before they close the rink down for the season.

Anyway, I'm really proud on my progress so far and hopefully I'll have made even more progress next time I post.

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

My Body Hates Me...Seriously

2010-12-08T14:43:00.001-07:00

It's that time of the year again. No, not THAT time of the year, the OTHER time of the year...finals time. I'm definitely no newbie to finals week. I'm actually an expert if I say so myself. While my brain prepares itself for the torturous study sessions that are about to commence, my body always likes to put up a fight. You see, my body is lazy. It really hates dealing with stuff, and if it can find a way to keep me in bed, it will. This is probably the reason I've gotten sick right before finals for as long as I can remember. No joke. Somehow, without fail my body always shrivels up into a giant mess of sneezing, sniffling, coughing, and puking. Well, this year I decided to be proactive and turned my immune system into Fort Knox. I have not gotten sick the entire semester! Seriously, it's kind of a miracle. Everyone around me has gotten some sort of illness, but nope, I've emerged victorious...until this week. You see, I may have no apparent physical illness caused by germs, bacteria, virus, etc. but that doesn't mean my body can't make something up. For some reason my body has decided that it doesn't like sleep...which is kind of strange seeing as how I normally love my zzz's, but no, my body has decided to only allow me 4 hours of sleep per night. Well, this lack of sleep and the stress of my impending doom has caused my stomach to turn into a wimpy little girl and I can barely keep any food down. I know this sounds a lot like food poisoning or something, but seriously, I know food poisoning and this is no food poisoning. This happened a few years ago (on a much grander level) back in high school and actually resulted in a hospital visit because I looked like death. After all sorts of tests, the doctors could find absolutely NOTHING wrong with me. So my goal for this week is to force my body to sleep. I don't care how, but I'm not going down without a fight. I'm going to make my body my bitch.

If I Had a Heart

2010-11-30T12:29:00.004-07:00

There may in fact be something wrong with me, because I seriously can't stop listening to this song, or watching the video.

22 Before 23

2010-11-29T02:00:00.004-07:00

Random fact #56: I love lists! I really do. I love how organized they make me feel and I love crossing things off. Well, beginning today, I will be working on my "22 Things to do Before I'm 23" list. Cool right? November 29th is my half birthday, and normally the day kinda comes and goes without me really paying any attention to it, but this year I thought I might do a little something special. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm not going to lie, some of this stuff is kinda ambitious, but I know I can totally do it, and to keep me in check, I'll be posting my progress on here weekly. Without further ado, here is my list:

22 Before 23

1) Lose 30 lbs. (Yeah, this is definitely my most ambitious one, but I really need to do it.)

2) Read Atlas Shrugged and War & Peace (If you aren't aware Atlas Shrugged is 1,166 pages and War & Peace is 1,136 pages. Yeah, now you know why I need 6 months to read both of them.)

3) Climb Mt. Timpanogos ( I tried to do this about a month ago and failed miserably.)

4) Learn how to change a tire

5) Go to a Jazz game (I've lived in Utah most of my life and have still never been to one of these games)

6) Graduate with my Bachelor's degree! (So, I technically won't be graduating until the summer, but I will be walking before my birthday so I say it counts)

7) Go Golfing (Always thought it might be fun to try)

8) Learn how to play chess

9) Watch "Gone with the Wind"

10) Stop drinking soda
11) Stay off Facebook (While the ultimate goal is to stay off completely, I will allow myself to log on for one hour on the 29th of each month. I guess I won't be logging on at all in February.)
12) Learn to live in the present. (I'm currently reading the book The Power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle, and I gotta admit, it's helped me a lot so far)
13) Go to a hockey game (I'd love to go to a Grizzlies game, but I may just stick to a college game.)
14) Eat at all the Salt Lake restaurants that were mentioned on "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives" (Ruth's Diner, Lone Star Taqueria, Red Iguana, Moochie's, Blue Plate Diner, and Pat's BBQ)
15) Buy a MacBook Pro (Here's hoping that my tax return is enough)
16) Eliminate all credit card debt.
17) Learn to play at least 5 new songs on the guitar
18) Get a picture of myself in front of the Hollywood sign
19) Eat a Sprinkles cupcake. (I seriously want to know what all the hype is about.)
20) Go ice skating at the Santa Monica Pier
21) Stop eating fast food (I define fast food as basically anything with a drive-thru window. I will have to make an exception during December because of my trip to California, but no more after that)
22) Have a Lord of the Rings [Extended Edition] marathon (Yes, you did read this right, I want to spend an entire day doing nothing but watching the Lord of the Rings. I'm a dork. Get over it.)

Well...that concludes my list. I'd say these are all feasible goals so I'll look retarded if I don't accomplish these. I'll document what I can, but some you'll just have to take my word for it.

Red Riding Hood

2010-11-27T18:34:00.003-07:00

Maybe it's because I like Amanda Seyfried, maybe it's because I'm a sucker for fairy tales, or maybe it's just because I like the song on the trailer, but I've become captivated by the idea behind the upcoming movie Red Riding Hood.

Many people are already writing this off just because Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight) is directing. Yes, Twilight was pretty awful, but she also directed Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown so I'm going to cut her some slack. What I am a little leery of is the fact that she's straying quite a bit from the original source material and taking the story on a completely different track, and the fact that this now involves a werewolf is giving me flashbacks of Twilight. However, I still plan on seeing this film in the hopes that it uses the story as an allegory as opposed to being another stupid love story with a twist.

If you read the original story by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm you can take it either two ways. I personally see a lot of religious symbology. For instance, Red Riding Hood is deceived by a wolf and strays from the path. Later, when she gets to her grandmother's house she has an uneasy feeling but ignores it and is devoured by the wolf, but is later saved by the woodsman. To me this is all an analogy on how we need to stay on the straight and narrow path and listen to the holy spirit or else we will be deceived by the devil (the wolf) and brought into darkness. However, we do have the opportunity to be saved through Christ (the woodsman).

Another view is that the story was written to prevent young girls from engaging in the dangers of sexuality. Thought Catalog did an excellent piece on that viewpoint here.

Maybe it's the fact that i'm currently taking a Mass Media & Society class or perhaps that I just wrote a paper on sex in the media, but I'm really hoping that this movie focuses a bit more on the latter viewpoint. I really think this movie has the potential to point out current cultural views on sex and be entertaining all at the same time. I realize I may be asking a lot, but even though it is pushed in front of us all the time, sex is still very much a taboo subject. I could go on and on about gender roles in the media and how women are still often portrayed as weaker and innocent and are often corrupted by men, but I still am holding out hope that this film will address this and create some good buzz on this topic.

127 Hours

2010-11-27T00:29:00.000-07:00

Today I went and saw the movie 127 Hours.

While I'm sure most of you have heard about it and know the plot already, I'm going to take a moment and give some background for those of you who haven't. The film tells the story of Aron Ralston who was forced to cut off his own arm after it had been trapped under a boulder for five days. While it is an excellent movie and I personally think James Franco deserves an Oscar nomination, I want to focus more on the life lessons I took away from this film Yes, this may be corny and stupid but bare with me.

Close to the climax of the film, Aron starts seriously analyzing his life and how he ended up in the situation he finds himself in. He starts thinking of all the what ifs, but then realizes that from the day he was born, he was destined to face this ordeal, and he was destined to conquer it.

While very few of us will ever be forced to face such a trying feat as cutting off a limb, we all will deal with "boulders" in our lives. We will all encounter situations where we feel trapped and alone. We will be forced to cut something out of our lives and you better believe that it'll be painful. Sure you can try and ignore it and avoid it as best as you can, but until you deal with it, it will slowly kill you. Maybe it won't literally kill you, but it will kill your soul, little by little, and you will slowly become less and less of a person until you are only an empty shell of yourself. Maybe you're trapped in an abusive relationship, or are stuck in a dead end job, whatever the situation, you just need to take a moment and ask yourself, "am I willing to cut out this rotting piece of my life, or am I going to remain passive and let it conquer me?"

Love from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

2010-11-23T19:49:00.011-07:00

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Wild & Crazy

2010-11-10T20:14:00.001-07:00

So my current job doesn't allow for any crazy hair styles/colors which I'm totally ok with, but lately I've been really wanting to do something completely different with my hair. I did put some violet in it a couple months ago, but it faded super fast and you can't even tell it's in there anymore so that was kind of a bust. Anyway...I'll be graduating this summer and I'll be quitting my current job so that I can do a kick ass internship so I'm thinking of maybe dying my hair this color:

Any thoughts? It'll either be this or maybe some purple highlights. We'll see. May is still six months away so I may change my mind. Who knows...

Oh, and here's a playlist :)

Star Wars in Under 3 Minutes

2010-11-08T13:19:00.002-07:00

Dance With Me

2010-11-01T02:00:00.001-06:00

Sadly enough it is once again the most hated day of the week...MONDAY! After all the fun that was had this Halloween weekend, today is even more wretched than usual. So while everyone is recovering from their wild and crazy weekend, here are some pretty freaking amazing dance videos to keep the party going all week long.

Madonna - Vogue
Uploaded by zocomoro. - See the latest featured music videos.

P.S. Some of you may be wondering where "Thriller" is, but since I posted it for Halloween, I decided not to include it in this post.

Happy Halloween!!!

2010-10-31T02:17:00.001-06:00

Gossip Girl Wisdom

2010-10-27T02:51:00.000-06:00

I understand that Gossip Girl may in fact be one of the most screwed up shows out there, but sometimes it makes some really good points. For instance, in Monday's episode, Chuck and Blair are still at war over the hurtful things that they've done to each other. If you don't watch the show, it's a very messy plot line that I don't have the time to delve into, but let's just say they both have blood on their hands (metaphorically speaking, of course). Anyway, by the end of the episode they come to an understanding that by continuing on in their vendettas, the only way it will end is through mutual destruction. Actually, let me just show you the clip:
Chuck's little spiel is so painfully true that I almost had a hard time listening to it the first time around. How many times have I let hurt and anger fuel me all because I was unwilling to let go? I've been hurt and treated unfairly on numerous occasions, and I'll admit that sometimes I think back on these moments. It's really stupid though to look back. All it does is make you hurt all over again and in no way makes you a better person. I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is too short. Don't waste any more time being angry. Don't shed anymore tears for things that are out of your control. Go be with people who love and care about you. Go do something that makes you happy. For just maybe five minutes, be completely in the moment and realize that when you push all the crap aside, life is pretty freaking beautiful.

Try A Little Tenderness

2010-10-22T04:51:00.001-06:00

This is my absolute favorite scene from Pretty In Pink. Team Duckie all the way :)

GLAAD Spirit Day

2010-10-20T15:20:00.007-06:00

I hope you all are wearing purple today in support of GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) spirit day. By wearing purple, you are saying that everyone, no matter sexual orientation, deserves to be loved and treated fairly. No matter what you're opinion is on the whole gay rights debate, I think we can all agree that no one should be bullied. It's horrible that several people in the last month have been bullied to the point where they felt no escape and chose to take their own lives. Please remember, love is louder than hate.

They have names and stories.
Tyler Clementi

He was a 19 year old student at Rutgers University.
After his college roommate tweeted “roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly’s room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.”, he lived-streamed Tyler having sexual relations with his boyfriend.Tyler threw himself off a bridge after finding out.

Raymond Chase

He was a 19 year old student at Johnson & Wales University in Rhode Island.
He hung himself in his dorm room.

“Raymond Chase was a person who liked Harry Potter and Rugrats and was a member of the popular facebook group “I cant spell “bananas” without singing hollaback girl.” (source)

Seth Walsh

Seth Walsh was a thirteen year old middle school student.
He was bullied to the point that he could not bear to live.

“He spent a lot of his life frightened.” It was in person, through the internet, through phonecalls. His peers were relentless. He was perpetually picked on for his mannerisms and his style of dressing, even before he came out as gay.
His mother found him hanging from a tree in their backyard. He spent over a week lingering on life support before he died.

Asher Brown

He was a 13-year-old eighth grader at Hamilton Middle School outside Houston His family says that he was “bullied to death”.
”Asher was tormented for being small. For his religious beliefs. For the way he dressed. And for being gay. His bullies acted out mock gay sex acts in phys ed class.”His parents repeatedly contacted school officials on his bullying. Nothing was ever done.
He shot himself in the head.

Billy Lucas

He was a 15-year-old freshman at Greensburg High School in Indiana.
“Everyone made fun of him.” Like Asher, his school administration knew but did nothing.
A friend says the bullies would call Billy “gay and tell him to go kill himself.” Homophobic hate messages have been left on his facebook memorial page.

and there are more

The death toll for this school year is already at 7.
Seven kids who have lost their lives because of hateful peers.

It’s horrible that it’s taken tragedies like this to finally wake this nation up.

*Please remember that "all you need is love"

Lovers Spit

2010-10-05T23:02:00.004-06:00

I thought you all deserved a nice mid-week playlist. Enjoy :)

A Waltz For A Night

2010-10-05T20:47:00.000-06:00

If you've never seen the movie Before Sunset, I highly encourage you do so now. This song comes near the very end of the film, but it's definitely one of my favorite parts. I'm not going to say too much because I want you to watch the film, but Julie Delpy & Ethan Hawke have awesome chemistry and really make this into a wonderful film.

P.S. Before Sunset is the second of two films. Please watch Before Sunrise first or else Before Sunset won't make any sense at all. Enjoy :)

What If...

2010-10-03T23:32:00.003-06:00

What if you chose to forgive yourself today?
What if you realized that tomorrow is a brand new day, filled with possibility?

What if you decided to not dwell on the past but embrace what can happen in this moment?
What if you acknowledged that to err is human and we have all fucked up, more than once?
What if you tested your superpowers to see how magical they indeed are?
What if instead, you become the DJ of your own life?
What if you invited the gremlins over for a tea party to let them know this?
What if you treated yourself with the same tenderness and compassion that you show others?
What if instead of beating yourself up, you took the time to gently wrap your heart in a cashmere blanket and tenderly snuggle it, even if only for a moment, each day?
What if you chose to see the situation with fresh eyes?
What if you took the lesson and turned it into positive growth?
What if you replaced the word shame in your vocabulary with a word like juicy?
What if you filled a bowl with rose petals, healing essential oils and warm water and soaked your feetsies, they work hard too?
What if everytime you passed by your he or she, you kissed them cheekily?
What if you channeled your inner 4-year old and let her have some uninterrupted playtime?
What if you designated one day each week as an official worry-free day?
What if you just let it go?
What if you chose to forgive yourself today?
What if you believe in yourself for one day?
What if (for you to fill in the blank)

-Anne Lammott

Hip Hop Holla!!!

2010-10-01T00:16:00.003-06:00

Be The Change You Wish To See

2010-09-30T23:07:00.000-06:00

The first step — especially for young people with energy and drive and talent, but not money — the first step to controlling your world is to control your culture. To model and demonstrate the kind of world you demand to live in. To write the books. Make the music. Shoot the films. Paint the art.

— Chuck Palahniuk

Who Is John Galt?

2010-09-30T09:15:00.001-06:00

*Disclaimer: I love Ayn Rand. I think she had many brilliant ideas. I think there is a lot of truth to this segment from her novel Atlas Shrugged. However, I don't think she is entirely correct. If you read this and want to discuss it, send me a message, but if not, take what you will from it and hopefully it'll add something to your life.

John Galt's Speech
mini-version

(From the novel Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand)

For twelve years you've been asking "Who is John Galt?" This is John Galt speaking. I'm the man who's taken away your victims and thus destroyed your world. You've heard it said that this is an age of moral crisis and that Man's sins are destroying the world. But your chief virtue has been sacrifice, and you've demanded more sacrifices at every disaster. You've sacrificed justice to mercy and happiness to duty. So why should you be afraid of the world around you?

Your world is only the product of your sacrifices. While you were dragging the men who made your happiness possible to your sacrificial altars, I beat you to it. I reached them first and told them about the game you were playing and where it would take them. I explained the consequences of your 'brother-love' morality, which they had been too innocently generous to understand. You won't find them now, when you need them more than ever.

We're on strike against your creed of unearned rewards and unrewarded duties. If you want to know how I made them quit, I told them exactly what I'm telling you tonight. I taught them the morality of Reason -- that it was right to pursue one's own happiness as one's principal goal in life. I don't consider the pleasure of others my goal in life, nor do I consider my pleasure the goal of anyone else's life.

I am a trader. I earn what I get in trade for what I produce. I ask for nothing more or nothing less than what I earn. That is justice. I don't force anyone to trade with me; I only trade for mutual benefit. Force is the great evil that has no place in a rational world. One may never force another human to act against his/her judgment. If you deny a man's right to Reason, you must also deny your right to your own judgment. Yet you have allowed your world to be run by means of force, by men who claim that fear and joy are equal incentives, but that fear and force are more practical.

You've allowed such men to occupy positions of power in your world by preaching that all men are evil from the moment they're born. When men believe this, they see nothing wrong in acting in any way they please. The name of this absurdity is 'original sin'. That's inmpossible. That which is outside the possibility of choice is also outside the province of morality. To call sin that which is outside man's choice is a mockery of justice. To say that men are born with a free will but with a tendency toward evil is ridiculous. If the tendency is one of choice, it doesn't come at birth. If it is not a tendency of choice, then man's will is not free.

And then there's your 'brother-love' morality. Why is it moral to serve others, but not yourself? If enjoyment is a value, why is it moral when experienced by others, but not by you? Why is it immoral to produce something of value and keep it for yourself, when it is moral for others who haven't earned it to accept it? If it's virtuous to give, isn't it then selfish to take?

Your acceptance of the code of selflessness has made you fear the man who has a dollar less than you because it makes you feel that that dollar is rightfully his. You hate the man with a dollar more than you because the dollar he's keeping is rightfully yours. Your code has made it impossible to know when to give and when to grab.

You know that you can't give away everything and starve yourself. You've forced yourselves to live with undeserved, irrational guilt. Is it ever proper to help another man? No, if he demands it as his right or as a duty that you owe him. Yes, if it's your own free choice based on your judgment of the value of that person and his struggle. This country wasn't built by men who sought handouts. In its brilliant youth, this country showed the rest of the world what greatness was possible to Man and what happiness is possible on Earth.

Then it began apologizing for its greatness and began giving away its wealth, feeling guilty for having produced more than ikts neighbors. Twelve years ago, I saw what was wrong with the world and where the battle for Life had to be fought. I saw that the enemy was an inverted morality and that my acceptance of that morality was its only power. I was the first of the men who refused to give up the pursuit of his own happiness in order to serve others.

To those of you who retain some remnant of dignity and the will to live your lives for yourselves, you have the chance to make the same choice. Examine your values and understand that you must choose one side or the other. Any compromise between good and evil only hurts the good and helps the evil.

If you've understood what I've said, stop supporting your destroyers. Don't accept their philosophy. Your destroyers hold you by means of your endurance, your generosity, your innocence, and your love. Don't exhaust yourself to help build the kind of world that you see around you now. In the name of the best within you, don't sacrifice the world to those who will take away your happiness for it.

The world will change when you are ready to pronounce this oath:

I swear by my Life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man,
nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine.

Yes, this is random...deal with it

2010-09-28T12:47:00.000-06:00

I miss my cello. Not exactly an exciting start to this tangent of mine, but it's true. From the time I was 6, my cello and I were one. I was always involved in some kind of orchestra that rehearsed several times a week, I had private lessons, and I practiced everyday. My cello was my life up until I graduated high school. Once college started, we started drifting apart. I don't know why, but I thought a break might be good for us. Make me appreciate it more perhaps. It's gotten to a low point though. I probably pick it up twice a month now, and maybe play for 15 minutes at the most. I miss it terribly, but with my crazy work/school schedule, finding time is difficult. My cello is my child. A neglected one at that, but I would do anything to protect it from harm. It's kinda weird to have that kind of attachment to an object, but we just have kind of bond. I don't know why I stopped to be honest. All my high school friends knew my playing abilities, but since then, very few people that I associate with know what I can do. I played in fucking Carnegie Hall!!! At this point i'm not really sure what I can do anymore, but I know what I was once able to do, and in retrospect I realize that I was pretty damn good. I know I could have gotten a full music scholarship if I had tried, but for some stupid reason I wanted to pave a new identity for myself in college and decided I didn't want to be associated with the music department in any way, shape, or form. I want it back. I want the drive for music that I used to have. I want to perform again. I want to be top notch.

Pleasantly Surprised

2010-09-21T01:09:00.000-06:00

This really only means something to me, but I felt like I needed to express my gratitude to a good friend of mine who has no idea that the words he said to me today have improved my confidence immensely.

I try to put on a strong face to the world. Some days go better than others, but for the most part I try to appear happy and confident. I usually feel pretty good about myself, but I always have certain insecurities that haunt me regularly. Like most girls, i'm very insecure about my looks. I know my body is nowhere near as fit as it should be and I try to push back the thought in my head that my lack of a love life is partially due to being out of shape. I also have a very bizarre sense of humor which i'm rather insecure about because not everyone gets it. Anyway, I was talking to a good guy friend of mine who is basically like a brother to me and we were talking about a school assignment I had when suddenly he took the conversation to a more serious note. I don't know what prompted him to say what he did, but he basically told me that he thinks I have an amazing sense of humor and that i'm pretty. Again, this is very much a brother/sister relationship we have so don't get any ideas, but I just loved that he said all this out of the blue. I've had people say similar stuff to me before when I'm having a bad day and need a confidence boost, but hearing it spontaneously made it that much more meaningful. I guess God knew I needed a little pick me up or something, but I really couldn't think of a better start to my week.

9/11

2010-09-11T01:28:00.001-06:00

Nine years. Seriously? It's been nine years since that fateful day of September 11, 2001.

I can honestly remember it like it was yesterday. I remember being at home getting ready for school when I heard my parents talking about a plane hitting one of the World Trade Center buildings. I remember thinking how sad it was that all those people died, but I was comforted by the fact that it was only a tragic accident. Then I remember not too much later hearing that a second plane had hit the other building. My mind seriously could not wrap my mind around the idea that this wasn't actually an accident. I couldn't understand how someone could purposely do that. I remember going to school and watching the news. I'm pretty sure that's all we did that day. I remember watching as the towers fell and crying, thinking of all those people who would never see their loved ones again. Even now I still tear up when I think of that day. Today as you go about your busy schedule, please take a moment to stop and remember how you felt that day nine years ago. Remember, all the brave men and women who have fought and died so you can enjoy the freedoms of this great nation. And please remember to tell your loved ones that you love them. Life can change in the blink of an eye and it's always the things that you didn't say or do that you regret most of all.

Sooo.....

2010-09-10T23:34:00.006-06:00

I feel like I need to post something because let's face it, it's kinda been awhile since I really posted anything. School's back in session and I have to admit I'm kinda loving it this semester. I'm taking 12 credits and I seriously couldn't ask for a better set of professors. Other than that I'm completely broke (I had to cut my work hours in half so I could go to school full time) but surviving. Oh, I've also been adopted by the PT students up at the U of U. Yeah, a bit of a long story but I love having an excuse to drive up to SLC all the time so it's all good. Besides that, my life is utterly boring but I really can't complain.

P.S. Here's some music for your weekend. Enjoy!

Morgan M. Morgansen

2010-08-11T00:49:00.003-06:00

Ever since I saw 10 Things I Hate About You I've kinda had a ridiculous crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. After seeing last years 500 Days of Summer and last months Inception this love affair has been solidified and I've been trying to find anything JGL related. Luckily with all the interviews he's been doing for Inception he's been able to promote his production company hitrecord.org. It's an awesome company that really seeks to expose some otherwise unknown artists and is just an overall great artistic stomping ground. Here are two shorts JGL put together in collaboration with members of the hitrecord community. The first Morgan M. Morgansen's Date with Destiny premiered at this years Sundance Festival and the second, Morgan and Destiny's Eleventeenth Date was shown at this years SXSW Festival. I'm so grateful that there are people like JGL that truly support the arts in all its forms and encourages creativity no matter what the scale.

Doubt

2010-08-06T22:34:00.002-06:00

Have you ever defended a way of life you were on the verge of exhausting? Have you ever given service to a creed you no longer utterly believed? Have you ever told a girl you loved here and felt the faint nausea of eroding conviction? I have…What is Doubt? Each of us is like a planet. There’s the crust, which seems eternal. We are confident of who we are. If you ask, we can readily describe our current sate. I know my answers to so many questions as do you. What was your father like? Do you believe in God? Who’s your best friend? What do you want? Your answers are your current topography, seemingly permanent, but deceptively so. Because under that face of easy response, there is another You. And this wordless Being moves just as the instant moves; it presses upward without explanation, fluid, wordless, until the resisting consciousness has no choice but to give way.

It is Doubt (so often experienced as a weakness) that changes things. When a man feels unsteady, when he falters, when hard-worn knowledge evaporates before his eyes, he’s on the verge of growth. The subtle or violent reconciliation of the other person and the inner core often seems at first like a mistake, like you’ve gone the wrong way and you’re lost. But this is just emotional longing for the familiar. Life happens when the tectonic power of your speechless soul breaks through the dead habits of your mind. Doubt is nothing less than an opportunity to reenter the Present.”

— John Patrick Shanley, Doubt preface

2010-08-03T00:51:00.000-06:00

Whatever You Like

2010-07-07T13:21:00.003-06:00

It's a strange day when I like a cover better than the original, but I absolutely adore Anya Marina's cover of T.I.'s Whatever You Like. I didn't really like the music video the first time I watched it, but it has kinda grown on me and the fact that Justin Kirk who plays Andy on Weeds is in it is definitely an added bonus. Have a fabulous Wednesday :)

So You Think You Can Dance

2010-07-05T20:20:00.002-06:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely adore the show So You Think You Can Dance. I really wasn't that thrilled at the beginning of this season because they changed the concept a bit by pairing new contestants with "All-Stars". I also have been feeling that while everyone on the show is amazingly talented, they all seem to lack a certain "star" quality. This week I was completely and utterly impressed with two performances that are probably polar opposites of each other, but really brought back the pizazz that SYTYCD used to hold for me. The first dance was a contemporary piece performed by "newbie" Ashley and "All-Star" Ade (click here to view). The song, the choreography, the performers, it was all sheer perfection. Ashley is so beautiful and graceful and Ade is such a powerful dancer that the two of them together really made it an amazing performance.

The second performance I want to highlight was the performance by Alex and Twitch. Twitch was my favorite dancer when he was on the show a couple of seasons ago and Alex, a ballet dancer for the Miami City Ballet, has shown so far this season that he can be versatile. Until the other night however, no one knew the true extent of his versatility. He and Twitch performed an amazing hip-hop routine (click here to view). I was seriously blown away at how such a polished ballet dancer was able to let loose the way Alex did and put everything he had into the performance. The concept and music fit the situation perfectly and I feel this performance has earned Alex a spot in the finale.

Summer Movies 2010

2010-06-19T16:49:00.003-06:00

K, I'm seriously flipping out over a couple of movies coming out this summer. Have you seen the trailer for Inception?

Umm...pretty sure it looks freaking AMAZING! Look at the freaking cast. I mean you've got Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Cillian Murphy, Michael Caine, Marion Cotillard, and Ken Watanabe all in ONE movie! And I have to admit that I kinda have a weakness for psychological thrillers which will explain the next movie I'm kinda sorta DYING to see.

The Adjustment Bureau

I don't always love Emily Blunt but it looks like she'll be really good in this, and I adore Matt Damon so I'm super stoked

Stuff No One Told Me

2010-06-19T00:54:00.000-06:00

If you like this, please check out the site @ http://stuffnoonetoldme.blogspot.com/

Song For Woodthrush

2010-06-16T22:55:00.002-06:00

Quite honestly, I have no idea where half the music in my iTunes library came from, but i'm certainly grateful that it found me. I was having a bit of a meltdown last night and feeling rather upset about a few things. As I was moping in my room, this song (Song For Woodthrush by The Lord Dog Bird) came on and really put me in a much more relaxed mood and strangely helped a lot. It's quite beautiful and just a nice chill song. I greatly encourage you to check it out along with their other songs.

Kutná Hora

2010-06-16T13:21:00.004-06:00

I have a new life goal. Visit Kutná Hora in the Czech Republic and take a day trip over to the Sedlec Ossuary. So creepy yet so intriguing. I think i'm in love.

Urban Dictionary Survey

2010-06-16T10:31:00.005-06:00

Rules: Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions. Post the first definition it gives you.

1. Your name: Lauren

A beautiful girl who makes you go crazy

2. Your age: 22

The age after 21 where you realize you still have another 3 years to get your shit together

3. One of your friends: Jenna

So cool, has tons of friends, likes the wrong guys, loves to go shopping, smart

4. What should you be doing? Working

A term to describe the tedious and boring indentured servitude that most people are forced to endure to get money. Generally, not a pleasant experience.

5. Favorite color: Green

Yes... it is most definitely referring to the marijuana... and also, upon occassion, any substance with similar uses. too, properly, of course, it is a golfing term, but that's really not very much fun, now is it?

6. Birthplace: Los Angeles

Second-largest city in the United States, after New York City. Located in Southern California and home to about 9 million people in about 4 counties. One of the most (if not the most) diverse cities in the United States. The largest city in California and a major financial center for the Pacific Rim. Competes with New York City as the cultural capital of the United States; most movies and television shows are made in coordinated efforts between Los Angeles and New York, although most movie studios have their headquarters' in Los Angeles. LA has about a billion suburbs that are essentially considered part of Los Angeles as a single city, although the city itself has only a population of some 3.7 million. Los Angeles is notorious for smog and gang-related crime; seperate inner-city working-class suburbs such as Compton or Long Beach have been made the subject of rap songs talking about the crime levels that have gained some notoriety and earned LA one of it's less-enviable titles as "the Gang Capital of the World". Fortunately, the beautiful Pacific coastline and the numerous beaches and tropical climate offset some of the not-so-good parts of the city. LA also has an awesome music scene, a great clubbing sector, and countless appreciative cultural institutions such as the Getty Museum to visit that provide the city with a depth, culture and history that are enviable. It's an awesome city. Watch out for the traffic though.

7. Month of your birth: May

May is the month where teachers think that they can control a classroom but really nothing gets done and no one cares about their grades anymore. usually this happens because summer break is only 30 days away

World To Come

2010-06-14T20:52:00.003-06:00

Here's a random playlist for your week. Enjoy :)

Lisa Mitchell - Incomplete Lullaby

2010-06-13T21:20:00.000-06:00

I'm a Gleek

2010-06-09T12:32:00.017-06:00

Hi, my name is Lauren and I'm a Gleek. Can I just say that I absolutely LOVED every minute of last nights season finale of Glee? OK, maybe not when Vocal Adrenaline won (stupid Jesse)

and New Directions didn't even place, but other than that you've got no complaints from me. Sooo....let's discuss Rachel and Finn.Did anyone else nearly die when he walked up to her right before they were about to sing and told her he loved her? Pretty sure I immediately hit rewind and have now watched that clip at least 50 times. Oh, and prior to that when she randomly kisses him at school? I have to say I like the girls style. I really hope they keep them as a couple for more than half an episode (Hell-O) next season. Also, when Quinn gave her baby to Shelby...nearly cried.

I really like how the writers handled that situation and didn't

have Quinn give the baby to Terri. Anyway, my hopes and dreams for next season are Quinn and Puck as a real couple

as well as Rachel and Finn.

Puck and Santana getting more singing time (come on, they both have awesome voices. Why are they not using them more?) A little less time being spent on Kurt being gay (OK, we get it, you're discriminated against and have daddy issues. Enough already)

And maybe Will and Emma together? I'm not sure if I really like them together or not. I really like Will and April,or even Will and Shelby. I don't know, Emma is just a little too high maintenance. So yeah, we'll see what happens.

P.S. So since I love Rachel and Finn together I just had to add this video. Enjoy :)

The Danger of a Single Story

2010-06-08T21:22:00.002-06:00

Have you ever misjudged someone? Have you ever jumped to conclusions about a person solely on their appearance? I know I have. It happens far more often than I wish to admit. It's almost become instinctual. Some days I'll be walking through the store and see someone and automatically start judging them. The problem is, a persons appearance is only one part of a story. One minute detail in a much larger picture. However, how often do we stop ourselves to realize this? How often do we take a step back and say, "What am I doing? What right do I have to judge someone I don't even know?" Chimamanda Adichie is a Nigerian author who decided to take the road less traveled and instead of showing an impoverished nation which is typical to most books about Africa, decided to show it for the diverse society that it truely is. Last year she gave a speech at the TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) conference about taking the time to learn about a person or a culture before jumping to conclusions. I know it's a little long, but I urge you to take the time and listen to her speech. I promise it will be eye opening.

Three Songs That Have Made My Day

2010-06-03T01:21:00.003-06:00

So I was going through all my music and found some songs that well...I didn't even know I had. But can I just say that finding them kinda made my heart ache with happiness! Anyway, I don't know if they will have the same affect on you as it did on me, but just felt like sharing.

1) The Humpty Dumpty Love Song by Travis

2) Love by John Lennon

3) Almost Perfect by Ingram Hill

Neil Patrick Harris For The Win!!!

2010-05-20T12:38:00.004-06:00

So, I kinda sorta LOVE Neil Patrick Harris. From back in the day when he was Doogie Howser to playing Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother, the man is just chock full of talent. I was so excited to see him on Glee the other night and it gave him a chance for a wider audience to see his musical talent alongside his acting talent. It's saddening that so many people are unaware of his spectacular broadway career as well as his roll in the web series Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog. He's such an amazing performer and I think that once people catch onto his wide range of talent, he has an amazingly long career ahead of him.

How I Met Your Mother: Suits The Musical

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (This scene up until 6:02 is my absolute favorite part of the whole show)

Miss Me?

2010-05-17T23:33:00.001-06:00

Tonight I was looking through my Facebook friends and came across a guy I knew that passed away a little over a year and a half ago. We were never really “friends” or anything, but we grew up in the same neighborhood and I knew his family. He was a really nice guy and it was really sad that he died so young (22) but I wasn’t too upset about it since I didn’t know him very well. Anyway, what got to me tonight looking at his profile was the fact that even a year and a half later, he still has friends posting on his wall at least once a week. They all talk about great times they had with him or dreams they recently had with him in it. They talk about what a kind and loving person he was and how he was so full of life. It got me thinking though about my own life and if I were to die tomorrow, how long would people go on remembering me? How many good memories of me do people actually have? How would my friends describe me? While I would want them to move on with their lives, have I made an actual impact such that they would still remember me years down the road? In all honesty, I have absolutely no idea what kind of a mark I’ve left on the world. How will I be remembered? How will any of us be remembered? Just some food for thought.

RIP: Better Off Ted

2010-05-17T13:06:00.004-06:00

So I just heard the horribly saddening news that one of my favorite shows Better Off Ted was recently cancelled. Honestly, this show is fantastic and easily is up in the ranks with shows like Arrested Development and Seinfeld. Portia De Rossi is absolutely one of the greatest prime time actesses out there and the rest of the supporting cast were true gold. So sad to see such a great show cut down in its prime. In its memory, here are some of my favorite Better Off Ted quotes:

"The Veridian Foundation... helping the world then telling people about it makes us feel so good. The Veridian Foundation... Helping people. By telling people we're helping the world."

Ted: What are you afraid of? If you... if you throw a game, it's gonna keep you out of the time-wasters hall of fame?

Linda: No. My position there is secure from getting my art history degree.

Veronica: I saw what was going on in there between you and Fraulein Cheekbones. When you show her around town, keep your Hansels off her Gretels.

Ted: I was just being friendly.

Veronica: I'm serous, Ted. This deal is too important and sex can screw things up. Why do you think the Three Stooges went through so many Curlys?

Veronica: Because I'm good at everything I do. I'm not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I'm not good at. Although, if I wanted to be, I'd be excellent at that, too. As I just proved.

Veronica: Do you live here? Do all the cubicle workers have little hobbit holes like this?

Linda: No, some of us nest in trees, others have underground warrens.

Phil: Have you ever noticed how much of men's lives are spent trying to trick women into touching something?

Linda: You make no sound when you walk.

Veronica: Then I am ready to leave the monastery and avenge my parents. I'm kidding. I just buy expensive shoes made from very soft animals.

Linda: Hey, sweetie, want to go smoke a cigarette in the bathroom? See? I can be bad. Don't ever smoke, Rose. Every time you smoke a cigarette, Santa Claus kills an elf. What, helping or hurting? Because I can throw Jesus into the mix.

Ted: I think we're good.

Linda: Can't we develop one product that doesn't end up being used to kill people? Even our fat-free cinnamon roll led to that new sticky bomb.

Veronica: You're so moral and perfect all the time. Do singing birds and mice dress you and brush your hair in the morning?

Linda: No. Although my dad does call me "Princess." And there is a grumpy dwarf in my building.

Linda: Well, in my experience, scaring a man away is pretty easy. Basically, you're gonna want to put three words into heavy rotation--babies, future, and commitment.

Veronica: Back off! I need my space! Wow, those words are powerful.

Veronica: I heard about Jenkins' death. The company feels terrible about it.

Ted: People are working too hard, Veronica. We need to slow down.

Veronica: Legal's position's is, we don't know if hard work killed Jenkins. Legal thinks he may have had high cholesterol. They're also floating the idea that his being dead may have been a pre-existing condition, and that he may not have been alive when we hired him. Apparently he was pretty quiet in his job interview.

Ted: We are not sleazy. Our department is more like a hard-working squirrel, stuffing its nuts in... wait. We're more like a hard-working beaver... ah, I'm not going to land this metaphor.

Dr. Bhamba: Why are you looking up my mother's Facebook page?

Lem: I'm going to find her, seduce her, and make sensitive yet vigorous love to her.

Dr. Bhamba: Well, that's the one thing we haven't tried to get her out of her coma.

Lem: You wanted to see me?

Veronica: Yes. Lem, I want to talk to you about your sperm.

Lem: I'm sorry. It got out of its containment vessel and it's extremely aggressive. Wait, did you say my sperm?

Phil: I win! This is the most fun anyone has ever had with hypodermic needles.

Lem: It's not over yet. It's still wobbling. And it can't come out for at least a minute. Same rules as for losing your virginity

Musical Madness

2010-05-12T15:24:00.003-06:00

Ok, I admit, I have a strange little obsessions with musicals. I just love telling a story through song and usually the lyrics are so pure and raw I just can't get over it. Anyway, here are a couple of songs from some fav musicals of mine. Enjoy:

Les Miserables - One Day More

Phantom of the Opera

Wicked - Defying Gravity

Spring Awakening

P.S. Yes, that is Jonathan Groff (Jesse) and Lea Michelle(Rachel) from Glee on the "Spring Awakening" clip

10 Awesome Quotes for your Monday

2010-05-10T10:50:00.001-06:00

Seeing as how Monday is probably the most despised day of the week, I thought I'd share some quotes that'll help you get through it. Have a lovely week.

"So you look for patterns because that’s what humans do to try and make sense of things. In hope of some divine order. And you look in movies and songs and the things that you read for symbols, points and swirls that match your own. But the only real pattern there is, is the one you make when you hold up a mirror…and reflect."
— I Wrote This For You

"You deserve the good things that happen to you. Don’t feel guilty! Important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other."

- Paulo Coelho

"Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else. It’s the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells ‘CAN’T’. But you don’t listen, you just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper ‘can’, and you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are."

- Author Unknown

"Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you’re having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted."

- Author Unknown

"Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere; safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless."

- Author Unknown

"Dare to look foolish; the real fools are those who never attempt anything. Dare to make mistakes; they are the best teachers you will ever know. Dare to take action; there’s a risk you may fail, yet if you take no action failure is a certainty. Dare to be fully alive. Dare to speak your mind. Dare to enjoy the beauty of the world. Dare to make a difference. Dare to love. Dare to be the person you know you can be. Dare to expect the best; you’ll usually get it. Dare to do what is right rather than what is convenient or expedient. It will truly make a difference in the way you see yourself, and the way others see you. You’re here, with this magnificent day available to you. Dare to make it the best you can."

- Author Unknown

"This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died."

- Kelly Cutrone

"There is a destiny which makes us brothers; none goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own."

- Edwin Markham

"It’s not so much that we are afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in-between that we fear. It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold onto."

- Marilyn Ferguson

10)

"In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man’s proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours."

- Ayn Rand

Heaven

2010-05-06T14:24:00.002-06:00

K, can I just express how much I adore this song! Not necessarily to lyrics, but just listen to the music (especially starting at 1:21) and you'll understand.
P.S. And if you are a One Tree Hill fan, this is the song that plays in the background when Nathan first tells Haley he loves her way back in the 1st season. Enjoy:

Joel Sanders

2010-05-06T13:14:00.004-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Had to get done with finals and all that jazz but luckily I passed all of my classes and am now free to enjoy my summer. Yay!!! Anyway, I was looking around and stumbled upon basically my dream home. The architect behind it is named Joel Sanders and he's based out of New York. I'm aboslutely digging what he did with this penthouse out in San Francisco:
I don't know exactly what it is but I just love the open layout and clean lines. It seems like such a calming space to me. Any thoughts? Maybe one day when I'm rich I'll get him to design me an apartment in Paris :)

Be My Only

2010-04-07T22:22:00.001-06:00

Sugar Lumps

2010-04-05T12:32:00.003-06:00

I know I post a ton of videos on here but I just keep finding such good stuff online that I want to share with all of you. Anyway, I probably watched these two clips a million and a half times over the weekend. Flight of the Conchords is one of the greatest shows ever in my opinion and if you've never watched it before I think these two clips will demonstrate their awesomeness. Enjoy:

Remember Me As A Time Of Day

Decide What To Be and Go Be It

Shorty

Monday Soap Box

30 Days

Double Vision

Salty Goodness

Living La Vida Loca

It's Getting Real In The Whole Foods Parking Lot!

Dirty Filthy Mind

I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

I Don't Rap About Bitches and Hos, I Rap About Witches and Trolls

Denis Dutton: A Darwinian Theory of Beauty

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

I Pledge Elegance To The Flag...

Awesomely Tragic

An Ode to Living

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Crazy Randomness

Five Things

Book List - Summer 2011

Top 25

It's DONE!!!

What The Week Holds...

Perfectly Imperfect

Update: 22 Before 23 List

Heavy

Shake The Dust by Anis Mojgani

Happy Valentines!!!

SOTD Playlist - 2/7 - 2/13

Give Me Strength

You Know You Want One...

Looking For Alaska

It's Playlist Time!!!

Dueling Cellists

A Man Without A Country

Sorry...

Song Of The Day

Creature Fear

WTF!!!

Winter Wonders

Days Go By

Once More With Feeling

Currently Crushing On...

22 Before 23: Update

My Body Hates Me...Seriously

If I Had a Heart

22 Before 23

Red Riding Hood

127 Hours

Love from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

Wild & Crazy

Star Wars in Under 3 Minutes

Dance With Me

Happy Halloween!!!

Gossip Girl Wisdom

Try A Little Tenderness

GLAAD Spirit Day

Lovers Spit

A Waltz For A Night

What If...

Hip Hop Holla!!!

Be The Change You Wish To See

Who Is John Galt?

John Galt's Speechmini-version

Yes, this is random...deal with it

Pleasantly Surprised

9/11

Sooo.....

Morgan M. Morgansen

Doubt

Whatever You Like

So You Think You Can Dance

Summer Movies 2010

Stuff No One Told Me

Song For Woodthrush

Kutná Hora

Urban Dictionary Survey

World To Come

Lisa Mitchell - Incomplete Lullaby

John Galt's Speech
mini-version